A Hungry Caterpillar - Max's First Birthday

Max is ONE!

I cannot believe our Max is a year old. The past six (almost 7 months) have been a blur. We hosted a sweet little birthday for our Max. Here are some pictures. 

I saw the balloon and cake idea on Pinterest and it turned out really cute. 

The cake shaped like a caterpillar. 

We bought Max the small hard cover of The Hungry Caterpillar. 

The kids were able to take goodie bags of candy or decorate their cupcakes.

I really wanted to make the icing for the cupcakes from scratch (which I did), but we were not successful at getting the natural vegetable dyes to turn the green and red we needed (the colors turned out more like 'poopie' green and 'barbie' pink, yeah not cool.) So I ended having to buy the colored icing to put on the caterpillar and left the ones I made without dye. Max throughly enjoyed eating this sugary deliciousness and I was happy he didn't eat the awful fake colors found in colored icing. Oh, and if you are wondering....he definitely touched the fire :)

He was extremely gentle with his cupcake.

He enjoyed it very much.

Considering I started planning for this birthday party one week before the date, I think it turned out really great. Thank you for all our friends who came out and celebrated our sweet boy. 

Our Max

It has been 4 months since I last blogged about Max and our adventures as parents. It hasn't been easy, but it has been the most rewarding experience of our lives. Max brings so much joy to our lives each and every day; I wish the same could be said about how he makes us feel at night {a girl can dream} :). 

In the past 4 months Max has learned so many new things. He says dada, dede, ba, baba, and a few other babbling sounds. He started clapping in September, crawling backward in October, crawling forward in November and holding himself up in December. He loves to wave, give high-five, blow kisses, click his tongue, touch his hair when you ask him where his hair is, play peek-a-boo, and making the Indian call (tapping his mouth with his little hand) which he learned to do between Thanksgiving and his birthday last week. His motor skills are developing well. He is picking up his food by pinching it and can feed himself, his grip is strong and he just recently started pointing at things. Max loves to eat! He especially loves potatoes, sweet or not, avocado, chicken, hummus, cheerios, Annie's cheddar mix, and bananas, but he really eats just about anything. Anthony and I eagerly waited for Max to get some teeth, partly because he was in so much pain and continues to be, but mainly because we miss our sleep. He got his first tooth (bottom) in early November and shortly after he got his second tooth. 

Teething is awful! Max had just started sleeping throughout the night when all of a sudden he started teething. He gained teeth and we lost sleep. It is miserable at times. No living person should ever see the dreadful numbers we have seen on our alarm clock. Of course it was more difficult at first; I have learned to become a zombie at night. There are mornings when I wake up in my bed with Max in my arms and wonder how it all happened. Max has not been a good sleeper. He is one and still wakes up in the middle of the night. I have gotten great cuddle time, but sometimes I need my SLEEP! (Can you tell we miss our sleep?) And I know some of you are thinking "what about Anthony?" Hummm...yeah what about Anthony? haha. I am kidding, Anthony is such a huge help. He gets up and gets bottles ready, but the bottom line is he is not Mama. Max has major 'mamitis,' it's a Spanish word meaning 'I want my mom and I want her now!!" The boy loves his mama...can you blame him? ;) Don't take me wrong, Max loves his Papa, but Papa apparently doesn't cuddle like Mama. 

Our favorite things about Max are his smile and eyes. Max's smile is special, it speaks to you, it says "I love you" and "I am thankful for you." We have had people of all ages tell us how wonderful his smile is to see and how they want to smile because of his smile. His eyes and the way he looks at people is tender and understanding. It is the strangest thing, but his eyes show compassion and love. It's almost as if he understands the love, pain, joy, sorrow people are feeling. Our Max is such a special boy. 

Since having Max (6 and 1/2 months) we have learned so many new things about ourselves. Parenting truly makes you more selfless. I feel it is the closest I have ever come to understanding Christ love for me. Parenting is hard, it is beautiful, but hard! You have to give your self LOTS of grace. 

One of the very first times he rode on the BOB

Look How much he has grown in just a few months!

His two little teeth

Getting ready to go one his very first ride.

Life as parents :)

I must admit, I feel bad about not updating on Max for a month and a 1/2, but truth is we have been enjoying family time. Anthony and I have been on cloud nine, but can you blame us? Look at his sweet face. Every feature is perfect. His round almond shaped eyes which glisten with a hint of green when the sunshine finds them. And those eye lashes, lashes grown women pay top dollar so they can bat their eyes to handsome men. His lips are little mounds, which makes for the sweetest pouty face...don't trip on your lip honey :). His nose is as cute as a button, but my favorite, which I will miss the most, is his sweet toothless smile.

In the past month and a half, Max has learned SO much. When you say "yay Max" he claps away (this boy thrives from words of affirmation.) He shakes his head every time we say no; it is cute, but a bit frustrating when I say "no" to something and he thinks it is funny and shakes his head. We have to get creative when we are trying to say no. For example, instead of saying no we have to say stop, don't, enough and any other way to convey a "no." I think it is a good thing, it leads me to think creatively and stay away from the negative "no." Max has just recently (3 days ago) started rolling over from belly to back and is now trying to roll from back to belly, but usually gets stuck laying on his side. We are teaching him to wave and play peek-a-boo. I just love this sweet picture below.

Parenthood is great. In the past week, we have been able to sleep through the night. He goes to sleep at 8:30 p.m. and wakes up at 7:30 a.m. we are praying it continues. But he has been teething, a girl can dream, but fear this sleeping through the night will soon cease and we will be waking up often through the night. This past Friday was our very first time going on a date since May (thank you Bloom's). And on Saturday Max went to his first birthday party (happy birthday sweet Maddie) and at night we went to The Nile, an Ethiopian restaurant here in Orlando. It was a great time with great friends. Max tried injera and he loved it even the spice, but then he rubbed his mouth and got some of the spice in his eyes and he was not a happy camper. 

Max first birthday party :) 

First time sitting in a high chair. His face is priceless.

Beef fir fir and Chicken Doro wat.

Shital, Anthony and Jude getting ready to eat delicious Ethiopian food.

Auntie Kimberly with Max.

The sweet birthday girl, Grace, loving on Max.

First time meeting Ms. Amanda.

I will do my best to keep everyone in the loop more often than every month and a half. We love you all and thanks for reading! :)

Meeting our sweet boy's biological momma

Anthony and I had been debating whether we wanted to share this intimate moment publicly, but after much thought we decided sharing some of the story would be good. We also decided we wanted to share the obvious work God  has orchestrated with this adoption. When we follow God's will, things we believed to be a coincidence clearly are not a mere coincidence, but God at work. 

The embassy was gracious enough to expedite our process since I was staying in country. They requested an interview with Max biological mom on the morning of the 9th and then we would have our embassy appointment in the afternoon and receive our visa a couple hours later. The in-country case worker told me she would be coming into the city from Woliso sometime in the late afternoon of the 8th. I usually visited the children at the transition house and I wanted to make sure I saw the kids and nannies before she came into town. I wanted to meet with her, but I wanted it to be after her embassy appointment. 

Typically when I arrived at the transition house, I would be greeted and swarmed by the children. On this day, not only was I greeted by the children but also by a beautiful dark skinned woman with the same almond shaped eyes as my Max. I instantly knew it was his biological mother and in that same instant she reached for her son, my son, our son and walked inside with him in her arms. I remember just letting her take him and starting to cry. All the nannies speechless and the kids emotional, as I sat in a corner and cried. Thinking back, I am not exactly sure why I was SO emotional in that instant. I believe it was a mixture of insecurity (she would change her mind about the adoption) and sadness for this situation (her face was so sad when she saw him, she also cried in that instant.) 

It took me a few minutes to collect myself, and some consoling from the children, until I could make it inside the transition house. I sat down by her and we smiled at each other. To tell you the truth Max looks nothing like her except for the eyes; the same shape and the same ability to smile with them. She is a beautiful woman and you could tell she has a tender heart. After about 5 minutes, which felt like forever, she told one of the nannies something in Oromifa (the language she spoke, she did not speak Amharic) and the nanny laughed. When I asked what she had said, the nanny said, "the same thing we have all been telling you, he looks like your son like your biological son....he is meant to be your." It meant the world to hear these words because I love her son, my son, as if he were my biological child. 

Before I left that Monday afternoon, I asked her if we could discuss Max birth story and if I could record it, she agreed and we said our goodbyes. She looked devastated. I can't tell you how many times she kissed Max in the seconds leading to our departure from the T house. It broke my heart.

Max Adoption Story:

The following day we met with his biological mother in the 3rd floor of the T house. I set up my computer and started recording. I asked her a variety of questions and I learned many things about my sweet child. First and foremost, Max was a twin....surprised? because I sure was. His baby sibling (I didn't ask the gender) died during birth. She named him Elias because she felt he would do great things in the world which is the same reason we named him Maximus. She gave Max up for adoption because her husband left her for another woman and she could not afford to feed her other 3 children if she had to breast feed Max and not work. The pregnancy had gone well; there were no complications through out. When I asked her if she had any questions for Anthony or myself she said, "No, if I live long enough I hope to meet him one day, but I know my son will be taken care of and I feel very happy." What a blessing!

My sweet Max, your mother loved you so much. She gave you because she knew she could not provide for you, but she still chose to give you life. She prays you will become a great man of God. Papa and I hope and pray for the very same. 

Addis

As I lay here in bed I think of everything I have been exposed to in the past few years. Children with stomachs the size of a melon, family of 5 to 8 or more living in a house smaller than my bathroom, women with children strapped to their backs picking edible food in a pile of trash, terror on the face of a children who are afraid they will never see their parents, many children sharing one plate of food and not fighting over who will have the last bite, children sitting with flies on their faces not moving a single bone because they are too weak to shoo it. I think of these sad images and I am thankful for what I have. I am thankful for the blessings God has given me and how important it is for Anthony and I to have giving hearts. Too often we become comfortable with what God has given us. We begin to justify why we need bigger houses for our ‘stuff,’ or luxury cars because we deserve it. We become blind to the need of others and become self absorbed in our own needs and wants.

I can only pray for a fire in my heart. A fire allowing me to want to make a difference in my life first  and then in the life’s of others. We need to starting thinking of ourselves a little bit less and more of others. Especially those in need.

Here are some pictures of Addis….a beautiful city.

A cow just walking around.

 

Change

Waking up during the night has never been a concern; typically I'm the type of person who waits as long as possible to get up to use the bathroom. I am pretty sure when my head hits the pillow I die until my alarm goes off which of course is set thirty minutes before I have to wake up so I can lay in bed as long as possible. Now-a-days I wake up various times during the night and I'm usually up before my alarm, which I never turned off, rings. I even have a routine I follow every night and every morning. To make my life easier I leave the bottles, formula and water bottle (because we can’t use tap water) by my bed side. As soon as I hear Max start to wiggle or make a noise, I look at my clock to make sure it's around his feeding time and I start making the bottles. I do this in the dark (that's the laziness still wanting to stay alive) sometimes missing the small bottle opening, which really isn’t small at all, but in the darkness it feels like I am pouring powder through the eye of a needle. I usually get water or formula all over myself. One day, I had gone about my own business eating breakfast, talking with people because you all know I do that well, went upstairs and when I looked in the mirror I had dried up formula powder on my cheek and my eyebrow. I was so embarrassed. Things have definitely changed in the last few weeks. I genuinely don’t know how single mothers do it, more power to them, because I definitely can’t do this mother thing alone. During the first week Anthony was here he would make the bottles for Max while I soothed him and calmed him down. It has been difficult to do it all alone.

The biggest change these last few weeks has been not waking up next to Anthony. I miss seeing his face every morning when I wake up. But the hardest part is being alone in a new place, as a new mom without my  best friend. Our third wedding anniversary has come and gone. It was by far the most difficult day of this trip. Just when I thought I loved Anthony as much as I could imagine, Max came into our lives. What a wonderful three year anniversary this gift has been for us. Anthony is an incredible man. I'm not an easy person to love by any means and it is effortless for Anthony. I even struggle loving myself at times. So to Anthony, thank you for loving me unconditionally and for believing in me. You have loved me even when I didn't love myself and for that I am so thankful. You are my everything. The love I feel for you is one that moves mountains and I know Max will always have love from the best daddy in the world. I love you!! 

Days are going

It is Thursday morning, 7:33 am to be exact, I have been awake for about an hour. I fed Max at 6:30 and he fell back to sleep; I am a bit envious of him as I wish I could close my eyes as well. Instead, I lay here in this hard bed staring at the bare white walls and listen to the sound of children screaming in the near by home, a baby crying in the room next door, dogs barking, and the faint chanting from the nearby mosque which is actually soothing. Breakfast will be ready soon, I only know because I can smell the wood, which will heat the oven, burning. The smoky smell  fills the house up every morning at this time. You never know what breakfast will be, but you can always count on it being tasty and spicy. On that note, everything in Ethiopia has a kick of spice. Just when you thought jalapenos were the staple food in Mexican food you realize it is actually the staple for Ethiopian food; I feel as though I have been lied to all my life. One morning, I woke up to find they had made omelets, excited to be able to eat some protein (and because omelets, outside of waffles, are my favorite breakfast meal) for breakfast I stuffed my mouth with a huge bite to find a chunk of this ‘spicy pepper,’ as the Ethiopians call it, and it burned my mouth. Seriously. It was super spicy. Another time, like an idiot or maybe a show off, no definitely like an idiot, I saw one of the kids pick off --what I thought was a bell pepper off his pizza. Eager to show him you should never waste a perfectly delicious piece of vegetable, especially a bell pepper, I took a huge bite of the pepper. Instantaneously, I regretted my decision. I must admit the next move I made was embarrassing to my ego, but very amusing to the kids; I spit out the chunk of spicy pepper from my mouth and cried out for water. Never ever will I argue with an Ethiopian child about an uneaten piece of vegetable. There have been many incidents such as this one in the past week and a half. One incident it was clear they were trying to deceive us, because many of us thought what they had served us was guacamole (which we thought was weird they served with pizza), but turns out it was minced spicy peppers. It looked like guac 100%. I have learned my lesson by now. I make sure to smell it or let someone else be the guinea pig; I have embarrassed myself enough.

Last night was the best night of sleep in all my days here in Ethiopia. Max also slept the best he has slept. It has been a long, sleepless process to get him out of his old feeding routine of every 2 hours to every 3 ½ to 4 hours. It has been so great. Little guy has had a nasal infection. I am pretty sure he has some sort of tummy problem like parasites because his belly has been acting crazy, but he really has been great for me. I can feel God’s presence and I know you all are praying for us; thank you, we need them.

Today we went to immigration, it was a successful day! We were able to convince the official to give us the passport on Monday instead of having to wait one week. On Monday we will go in for medical stuff and hopefully be able to submit to the US embassy no later than Thursday. Pray to God we can be home the second week of July, sooner would be better, but I will take what I am given.

This week I had the opportunity to meet a lady from Tennessee by the name of Brenda. She really made my week go by faster by sharing our personal stories and mission work we have been doing. Brenda is adopting a baby girl named Berkie and already has 2 gorgeous girls from Ethiopia. The opportunity to meet new people here has been amazing and I am very thankful for it.