July 31st
Today was an awesome day. We left Johannesburg at 730 am this morning, our plane left at 1015 p.m.. On the plane, I met this guy who was from Malawi and we spent the whole entire trip talking. We talked about many things, but the craziest thing was that he was a journalist and he had been beaten for talking about political issues that were not agreeable. To top it off he continued to tell me that he got his graduate degree from Harvard. So you know me, not thinking blurted out with, "No way, seriously?" Of course he took it literally, like I didn't believe him (I need to remember that people from other countries don't understand our sayings) so he took out his Harvard ID and his Mass. drivers license and proved to me that he really did graduate from Harvard. It was nuts and kindda cool. It's just unbelievable when you hear someone from the US that went to Harvard so to hear someone from Malawi that went to Harvard was amazing. We then continued to discuss where we have traveled to around the world and he has been to so many places. We went down the fifty states in ABC order and he has been to 26 states while I have only been to 17. Then he took out a map and showed me all the places he has been and what he was writing about. I was reading the book A Long Way Gone and turns out he has a friend in Massachusetts that was persecuted by the rebels when we ran away from them. It was just a great experience getting to know him and hearing his story. He truly inspired me to stand for what I believe and daring. What a great way to start the trip.
Once we arrived to Malawi, we got our luggage and were greeted by the COTN staff who all remembered me from the last time I was here which was incredible and it filled my heart with joy. When we arrived at the COTN compound we unloaded and headed to Mtsiliza for the welcome party that the widows and kids had prepared. It was great to relive everything, but being here for the second time allowed me to feel more comfortable. The coolest part of my day happened when I noticed Saidi sitting on the front row of the group. I just yelled out his name and waved at him. He looked a little confused, but then ran to me, gave me a hug and sat on my lap. It was phenomenal that be recognized me and it felt great to hug him. What was even better was to see him wearing the shoes and clothes I had sent for him. It made me feel amazing and so glad that I am able to provide for him. It made me realize how awesome it is to sponsor a child. I also got to meet Saidi's mom and sister. Saidi's mom gave me a huge hug and thanked me for providing for Saidi and being a blessing in their life. I was so happy, I cried.
The saddest part of my day was when I had to tell Henry, Steven and Ester about Fabians death after they asked about him. They were in such a shock and Ester started crying which made me cry and it was just absolutely awful and hard to talk about. Saidi's mom was concerned about Julius not being sponsored since Fabian was his sponsor, but I explained the love many of us share for Fabian and therefore we would not allow that and eventually someone would take over the sponsorship. That made her feel better and I'm sure relieved. Other than that today was an amazing day! I had so much fun and overjoyed with the fact that Saidi remembered me. :)
August 1st
Today was incredible. Kyle and I were partnered up to work with a 16 year old girl named Zione. She is absolutely beautiful and intelligent. Zione has a disability, I am not exactly sure what it is, but she cannot walk or use her legs. She has very strong arms because she uses them to get herself around, but she has very short humerus bones so her arms are very short and it's hard for her to move her wheelchair to get around. I think they are short because of how much pressure she puts on them when she is trying to lift herself up or move around. We took her for a walk on her wheelchair and she was so happy and grateful. Zione is phenomenal at crocheting she has crocheted an entire sweater out of yarn. Both her parents passed away and she was taken in by her aunt since she was left homeless. Zione also loves to sing and share the gospel which is amazing. Her auntie is also a Christian who loves Jesus (and you can tell, considering she took Zione in willingly). The kids in the village are very sweet to her and do not treat her any different which I thought was so cool. Nothing worse than bullies. We learned so much about Zione and her care taker during the first half of the day that I feel like I have known her for years now. She is the sweetest girl who wants to make a change in the world. I know she will love it when we take her on the safari. When I asked her what animals she wanted to see she said an elephant, so I really hope that we see some elephants.
During our time with the family we muddied the floor. It was an interesting experience, but I am so glad I was able to help the best way I could. In the afternoon we cooked for the families and ate enzima with pumpkin leaves. We were able to cook the food (with some help) and have dinner with the entire family; which was absolutely incredible to share because you learn so much about people when you eat their food. The experience was one of a kind and I am just so excited to be around Zione for the next few days.
The food the kids eat isn't the greatest food they should be eating. It concerns me how little protein these kids eat. Enzima is made with flour and water; nothing else. It's really bland, filled with carbs and just doesn't serve a nutritious purpose except to fill their bellies.
We saw a baby with a bloated belly and you could just tell it wasn't healthy. He either lacked the protein in his diet or had an infection because his belly was way to big for his little size. Imagine a 2 year old with the basketball size belly. I felt saddened by the sight. If somehow they could harvest spinach they could get more protein in their meal.
The amazing thing is that these kids are so grateful and love Jesus so much. Their houses are the size of my bedroom, maybe less, and it houses at least 4 people and they all love each other unconditionally. It's incredible how each sibling looks after one another.
August 2nd
What a great day today has been. We spent the day with the widows of Mtzilisa and Mgwai (spelling may be wrong). Both villages are filled with amazing woman who are striving to be better for their families and for their villages. They always welcome us with their dancing and singing which makes you feel like a million bucks. They are so generous and grateful for us Azungus (the word they use for white people) to come to their villages and their homes. I have never met people who are willing to serve as much as these women do. They inspire me and I'm sure they inspire the whole group.
The program the widows have to help other widows is incredible. They pour their hearts out for each other and love each other the way Jesus loves them. It was wonderful today when Erin asked one of the widows about the program they have and the type of women they take in to the program and her response was beautiful. She said that they take any woman no matter her religion into the program and as they get to know the women then they share their story and talk about Jesus. How awesome is it that these women would do such a beautiful thing? It's Incredible.
August 4th
Up, up, Jesus! Up, up, Jesus! Down, down devil!!! Lol this is the chant the translators use to get the kids excited and pumped. God is great and it's amazing how we are created in his image. We are Mulungu's (God) masterpiece no matter how different we are or how we look. God creates us in a certain way for a specific reason and that is the most important message for the kids this week. We want the kids to know that they matter and that God created them for a specific reason and that they are beautiful. I have grown so much from this trip just by seeing these kids become more confident and outgoing in their own skin. It's amazing to witness their dramatic growth in just 2 days and we still have tomorrow. The first day we met these kids they were quiet and shy, not really wanting to say much or thinking they didn't want to be heard because they are different. Now they are willing to singing out loud, make funny jokes, think of themselves as awesome people, and most importantly...they know that they matter to God and that they are loved by many people.
When you see pictures of this trip, of the places we have stayed, you all are going to think" what type of mission trip is this?" The places we have been staying are beautiful; paradise like. I am overwhelmed with the beautiful creation of Gods work and it's great that we are able to bring the kids here and have them enjoy a piece of paradise. I must warn you, these pictures can be deceiving. It may seem as though we have been in this beautiful place just relaxing and having a good time, but it's been far from relaxing. Of course we have had a good time, but the whole team is emotionally and physically exhausted. We have been experiencing so much in the past few days that I can already see the changes amongst ourselves. We have been pouring 150% of ourselves to this team and these children. The emotional exhaustion is from seeing the kids struggle with daily lives issues that we often take for granted. Do you know what it's like to teach a child to use a toilet because they have only ever used a ditch. I literally had to explain to them that you sit on a toilet and not try to straddle the bowl standing up. They are just confused and do not understand why there isn't a hole on the ground that they can just squat over. Do you know what it's like to have to brief a child to sleep on the bed because they are so used to sleeping on the floor that they may not know what to do with a bed or the covers? It's sad.
I have had a few conversations with some of the kids and the stories they have shared are incredibly heart breaking. One of the boys here who is albino, Fiskani, shared his story with me and it was so hard to stay composed and not breakdown next to him. Basically, he was taken in by a family that was willing to feed him and he could live with them, but he had his separate plate, cup, everything. If the other kids touched his things or drank out of his cup they were "contaminated" with his disease. He said he was treated different and was humiliated everyday of his life until he was taken in by COTN. He was told he would never be able to marry because what woman would notice him? Who would want to be with someone so "ugly" and "different?" breaks my heart thinking about it. Our whole team reminded him constantly of how amazing he was and that God created him for a reason. Whatever the reason maybe...he is a blessing to all of us and the people that surround him. He made me laugh more than any other child on this trip...he has been a blessing to me.
This trip is a once in a lifetime experience for these children. They have been eating food that they have never ate in their life's. It's interesting seeing them eat. They eat so much; I think they do that because they are afraid they won't have another meal in a long time. I am thankful for people like John Parker who came up with this idea and Sid, Tim and David for leading it so beautifully. Not everything has happened as planned, but it has happened in a way where you know it was Gods plan. Even looking at the buddies partnered up you can tell that God knew who would be perfect for one another because we match just right.
There is this boy named Majanko (sp) and he is a handful. I'll be honest and say that I cant work with kids that severe, just not my forte. I'm not strong enough to work with children that severe...I know that may sound selfish, but it's the truth. But Nicole was paired with him and I can't think of anyone better. I know she must be feeling overwhelmed, I can see it on her face, but I know God is somehow using this experience to teach her and all of us something. I don't think she knows how changed she will be after this experience. I don't think anyone knows how much their life's will be changed after this trip. These kids think we change their lives, but honestly they have changed us just as much. I am blesses to have been on this trip.
August 5th
Today has been an awesome day so far. We spent all day hanging outside by the lake and doing water stuff. The plan was to have devotion this morning and then play games and then go into the water. Well, that didn't happen lol. Like everything we have planned, it changed. We had breakfast then headed to the water and everyone just jumped in...well almost everyone. The kids were having a blast and so were the guardians. After that we all sat in to hear devotions and we got to hear Michael's amazing testimony. Michael is amazing! He inspires me and I hope we can develop a deeper friendship because he is truly an incredible individual. It was also great to hear Gracious testimony...the testimonies filled my heart with joy because both Michael and Gracious are a blessing to all of us. They have both persevered and are examples of how successful one can be if you have determination and passion for life and Christ.
After devotions and lunch we all played water games and got in the water. I really enjoyed watching all the kids play and their eyes were gleaming with joy. Pemphero, Alena and Solister all got into the water butt naked which was so funny. Majanko also went in the water and Sid did such a great job helping with him while Nicole was working with the caregivers. It was funny to see Majanko naked and Sid next to him. If that had taken place in the states...Sid would have been judge about playing with a naked boy haha. Poor Sid! But he did such a great job.
It's been incredible seeing every one of my team members work so hard. Erin is so great with Maliko (a young man with Dow syndrome), she thinks he doesn't like her because she is always saying no to him, but I genuinely think that's what he needs. Brianne is so great for Pemphero, Solister and Alena. You can just tell that those girls love her. The relationship Danny and Kyle have built with their boys is incredible to watch and you can just tell that they have poured their hearts into this young man. Danny and Brad spent all day in the water with the boys today playing water games and throwing the football. It was incredible to witness. Carly loves Tamala, and she has an incredible connection with her. Frank absolutely loves Darling. They have a close relationship and she cares for him as if she was her mother. The same for Sam with Msada. I love Msada, sweetest girl ever and the connection she has shared with Sam is incredible. Faith and Funes are made for each other and it's sweet to see how much she cares after Funes and I have seen how Funes has become so confident so quickly. Keely has poured her loved into the hearts of Junior and Gift. Katie loves Andrew and of course I love my girls!
Oh my gosh, kind of random, but we were throwing water balloons and we were aiming for John Parker and instead we hit Funess. I felt so awful because she did not understand what had happened. She kept looking up at the sky wondering where it had fallen from haha. I know so mean for me to laugh, but it was very amusing (not that she got hit, but her reaction of confusion). John Parker was trying to explain to her where the balloon had come from, but I don't think it helped. Poor baby!
August 6th
Last night during club, I was sitting listening to music when Ephilda, one of my buddies, rested her head on my shoulder and held my hand. It was the sweetest thing ever. I realized immediately how much their kids love us and how deeply I care for them. Last night was really emotional for us because we heard all the kids give their testimony about what they had thought about the past 3 days. I recorded it so you all can hear them. We also heard Michael talk to all the kids and say thanks for allowing us to be a part of all these things and for opening their hearts! I broke down when I heard Darlings testimony on her life as Michael's sister. She used such eloquent and inspirational words that got us all crying. I admire the Murray family; they are strong and amazing. I can't imagine trying to raise a child with CP especially, twenty something years ago when having a disability was a taboo and they didn't have as many rights as they do now. It's incredible how strong Mr. and Mrs. Murray are and what an inspiration they are to the caregivers.
I was thinking today....I'm not really good at choosing my words. Not in a bad way, but I always have to correct my word choice and say, "you know what I mean." but I don't know if people really know what I mean. I just don't want people to take wrong. Many times during the trip I felt like I was being made fun of because of my word choice. I'm not sure what it is, I think it's because I speak based on pure emotion moreover the fact that English isn't my first language. A lot to think about.
This morning I was sitting with Katie O. and Andrew having breakfast when I look over and Andrew is using a knife and a fork to cut his meat. It was the highlight of my trip. These kids never use silver ware and to see him using silverware, properly, it gave me chills. Katie and I just looked at each other and smiled. My Jesus moment of the day.
In the past few days I have developed a very close relationship with so many girls on this trip. They have been such an encouragement when I was feeling down and I can honestly see myself developing genuine friendships once we get back home. We are all different, we all joke different, but we all somehow compliment one another as friends. I have developed special relationships with Katie O, Sam and Erin. Katie and I were meant to be on this trip together, she is like my little sister. We are so alike and we literally do things the same and she is just so beautiful inside and out. I am looking forward to all the fun times we will have in the future. Sam has been my crying shoulder to lean on this trip. She has been there for me at my weakest and during my breakdowns. She has made me feel like I have a friend in her and that I can come to her when I'm in need. Erin and I are experiencing so many similar emotions on this trip. We are both married and don't have our husbands with us. We have been an encouragement to each other when we missed our husbands and it has been so great to get to know her. I look forward to fun date nights.
As for my roomies/card playing friends during this trip we really have built relationships! Our relationships were rocky during a good game of "May I," but we made it through intact. Haha I'm just kidding there was never rockiness. I do feel like it was godly for me to end up rooming with them because we all have a lot in common, like we were all catholic growing up. Haha I loved our late night conversations.
Before I came on this trip, I was a little bit nervous about being with new people and meeting them all. I was nervous about the trip and the people not meeting the same expectations that my first trip had met. My March Malawi team was so incredible, that I couldn't think of any other team being as good. It was dumb thinking; definitely! This July team has been incredible. They are just as special to me as the March team and I can see myself enjoying dinners and game nights with these people the same way I enjoy it with the March team. The March team will always hold a special place in my heart because it was my first mission trip, but this team and trip is just as special because of what we experienced and the changes we made in ourselves and through COTN. I don't think God called me on this trip to compare trips or to see who was better, he called me to serve and build relationships and I definitely feel I achieved that.
I am so happy I opened my heart and allowed God to take control. I am so happy I didn't let money stop me from coming on this trip and I am so happy that I have met each and every one of the people on this team.
August 8th
On Saturday night I was surprised by Lovemore, I haven't been able to see him this whole time since he was away for college, but seeing him made me so happy. I wasn't expecting to see him, but it felt so amazing to hug him again. We spent the evening catching up and then yesterday he came to see me in the morning and he surprised me again this morning. Today was our last day in Malawi and saying goodbye to Lovemore and Steven was really hard. I love them both dearly and I seriously feel like they are my brothers. It was a little bitter sweet, but nonetheless it's exciting to head home. Yesterday we went to church at Flood church and it was a really good service. After church we had our lunch with our sponsor kids and I got to see both Lovemore and Saidi which made me the happiest girl in the world. Saidi is so precious. We had such a good time playing with a beach ball and eating yummy food. It was really great because Rebecca, a COTN intern, was able to get Julius to come hang out as well. Many of the people on my trip sponsored many of the kids with special needs which is great because they need it so much. Kelly decided to sponsor Zione which was so great and I am so glad she took on that commitment. It was really good to see Masada and Dina again.
This journal has been really different from my Europe journal, I was more in depth with my Europe trip because I had a lot more time. So now that I have the time (7 hour lay over and a 15 hour flight) and I am thinking of it, I am going to write about some of the kids on the trip who stole my heart. Masada is one of them. I'm not sure if that's how you spell her name, but that's how you pronounce it. Masada is a 9 year old little girl who lost her hearing two years ago due to malaria. It's a really sad story, but one that is very common in Malawi. Well, Masada is very interesting lol, seriously. She is probably one of my favorites, but at the same time she was one if the ones that drove you nuts haha. She has a love-hate relationship with many of us and she has that “I am the boss of me" attitude. For example, if we asked her to take a picture she would walk away or not smile or cover her face, but if she wanted a picture then she would just point at your camera and make you, yes make you, haha take the picture. She would also snatch things from us all the time. One time I have a cup of water in my hand, next thing I know she had snatched from my hand and was drinking out of it. As much of a pain as she was, she was definitely a sweetheart and would hug you and kiss you, but it was under her condition or when she wanted too. One time she was caressing Sam's face and Sam was all happy that Masada is being so sweet and then Masada just suddenly slapped her cheek. She did it to me too haha...she was crazy, in a good way. I fell in love with her.
Funess and Fiskani were two other kids I fell in live with. They are both albino and they both have had a very rough life. COTN has changed their life and allowed them to have a family and friends. This week we poured so much love into those kids and made sure that they felt special. Only God knows if we truly did, but from what I noticed, I believe we did. Both these kids are so special and have so much love for everyone in their life it's amazing. They both inspired me in so many ways.
Michael Murray, is one of the most inspirational people on this trip. He is so awesome! How many times have I said that on this journal? Well, that's cause it's true. Michael works at summit and he has Cerebral Palsy and he has written a book and he is so funny and any girl would be lucky to have him in his life. He loves Jesus and you can tell he has been living his life to serve Jesus.
I have been noticing much change in my heart lately. It has some relation to this trip, but also to my bible study group and Summit. Summit has changed my life in so many ways. I have never been involved in a church the way I am with Summit. If someone would have told me 2 years ago that I would go on two mission trips, develop deep Christian friendship, have changed lives, inspired people, inspired myself, fall in love with Africa and feel as if I have a second family there....I would have never believed it was my life you were talking about. But that's my life and it's not perfect, there is suffering and heartache, but one thing is constant is the love I have for this new life and Jesus.
This trip has been everything I prayed it would be and much more. I am really sad that Anthony wasn't able to come because he would have been amazing with the kids. Things happen for a reason and I am sure he will have many other opportunities to go.
