Meeting our sweet boy's biological momma

Anthony and I had been debating whether we wanted to share this intimate moment publicly, but after much thought we decided sharing some of the story would be good. We also decided we wanted to share the obvious work God  has orchestrated with this adoption. When we follow God's will, things we believed to be a coincidence clearly are not a mere coincidence, but God at work. 

The embassy was gracious enough to expedite our process since I was staying in country. They requested an interview with Max biological mom on the morning of the 9th and then we would have our embassy appointment in the afternoon and receive our visa a couple hours later. The in-country case worker told me she would be coming into the city from Woliso sometime in the late afternoon of the 8th. I usually visited the children at the transition house and I wanted to make sure I saw the kids and nannies before she came into town. I wanted to meet with her, but I wanted it to be after her embassy appointment. 

Typically when I arrived at the transition house, I would be greeted and swarmed by the children. On this day, not only was I greeted by the children but also by a beautiful dark skinned woman with the same almond shaped eyes as my Max. I instantly knew it was his biological mother and in that same instant she reached for her son, my son, our son and walked inside with him in her arms. I remember just letting her take him and starting to cry. All the nannies speechless and the kids emotional, as I sat in a corner and cried. Thinking back, I am not exactly sure why I was SO emotional in that instant. I believe it was a mixture of insecurity (she would change her mind about the adoption) and sadness for this situation (her face was so sad when she saw him, she also cried in that instant.) 

It took me a few minutes to collect myself, and some consoling from the children, until I could make it inside the transition house. I sat down by her and we smiled at each other. To tell you the truth Max looks nothing like her except for the eyes; the same shape and the same ability to smile with them. She is a beautiful woman and you could tell she has a tender heart. After about 5 minutes, which felt like forever, she told one of the nannies something in Oromifa (the language she spoke, she did not speak Amharic) and the nanny laughed. When I asked what she had said, the nanny said, "the same thing we have all been telling you, he looks like your son like your biological son....he is meant to be your." It meant the world to hear these words because I love her son, my son, as if he were my biological child. 

Before I left that Monday afternoon, I asked her if we could discuss Max birth story and if I could record it, she agreed and we said our goodbyes. She looked devastated. I can't tell you how many times she kissed Max in the seconds leading to our departure from the T house. It broke my heart.

Max Adoption Story:

The following day we met with his biological mother in the 3rd floor of the T house. I set up my computer and started recording. I asked her a variety of questions and I learned many things about my sweet child. First and foremost, Max was a twin....surprised? because I sure was. His baby sibling (I didn't ask the gender) died during birth. She named him Elias because she felt he would do great things in the world which is the same reason we named him Maximus. She gave Max up for adoption because her husband left her for another woman and she could not afford to feed her other 3 children if she had to breast feed Max and not work. The pregnancy had gone well; there were no complications through out. When I asked her if she had any questions for Anthony or myself she said, "No, if I live long enough I hope to meet him one day, but I know my son will be taken care of and I feel very happy." What a blessing!

My sweet Max, your mother loved you so much. She gave you because she knew she could not provide for you, but she still chose to give you life. She prays you will become a great man of God. Papa and I hope and pray for the very same. 

Market Colors: Ethiopia!

I first met Lizzie on a missionary trip to Lilongwe, Malawi. The sole purpose of this trip was to love the children in Malawi and to meet some other children who needed to be sponsored through Children of the Nation. It was an incredible trip to say the least. Many of the people who went on this trip had a desire to make a difference in the lives of these children, but God knew all along that the only difference would take place in our own hearts. Because of this missionary trip, we all changed. Some of us more than others, but change happened. One of the guys in our trip went from wanting to become a doctor to make money to have his own winery to majoring in non-profit studies, I fell in love with the African culture, there is none like it, which led us to adoption and Lizzie, well she did something amazing. Lizzie founded Market Colors.

Market Colors is a non-profit organization focused on empowering widows and craftsmen to earn an honest living for their families in 3 different countries in Africa: Ethiopia, Kenya, and Malawi. Today, I had the special privilege of meeting with some of the craftsmen/women in Ethiopia. Anthony and I believe in Market Colors, in their mission, and in the work they are doing to help bring prosperity to many in different parts of Africa. If you are interested in helping donate money or just shopping check out the Market Colors website: http://www.marketcolors.org/

Here are some pictures of my visit to Market Colors!

Salem holding Max.

Getting the cotton ready!

Scarves in action

Jewelry making

The gorgeous basket.

Once the scarves are made they are put into the different dyes.

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This is where the scarves and other items are made. I ordered some pillow shams which will be made especially for me!

The women working

Addis

As I lay here in bed I think of everything I have been exposed to in the past few years. Children with stomachs the size of a melon, family of 5 to 8 or more living in a house smaller than my bathroom, women with children strapped to their backs picking edible food in a pile of trash, terror on the face of a children who are afraid they will never see their parents, many children sharing one plate of food and not fighting over who will have the last bite, children sitting with flies on their faces not moving a single bone because they are too weak to shoo it. I think of these sad images and I am thankful for what I have. I am thankful for the blessings God has given me and how important it is for Anthony and I to have giving hearts. Too often we become comfortable with what God has given us. We begin to justify why we need bigger houses for our ‘stuff,’ or luxury cars because we deserve it. We become blind to the need of others and become self absorbed in our own needs and wants.

I can only pray for a fire in my heart. A fire allowing me to want to make a difference in my life first  and then in the life’s of others. We need to starting thinking of ourselves a little bit less and more of others. Especially those in need.

Here are some pictures of Addis….a beautiful city.

A cow just walking around.

 

Change

Waking up during the night has never been a concern; typically I'm the type of person who waits as long as possible to get up to use the bathroom. I am pretty sure when my head hits the pillow I die until my alarm goes off which of course is set thirty minutes before I have to wake up so I can lay in bed as long as possible. Now-a-days I wake up various times during the night and I'm usually up before my alarm, which I never turned off, rings. I even have a routine I follow every night and every morning. To make my life easier I leave the bottles, formula and water bottle (because we can’t use tap water) by my bed side. As soon as I hear Max start to wiggle or make a noise, I look at my clock to make sure it's around his feeding time and I start making the bottles. I do this in the dark (that's the laziness still wanting to stay alive) sometimes missing the small bottle opening, which really isn’t small at all, but in the darkness it feels like I am pouring powder through the eye of a needle. I usually get water or formula all over myself. One day, I had gone about my own business eating breakfast, talking with people because you all know I do that well, went upstairs and when I looked in the mirror I had dried up formula powder on my cheek and my eyebrow. I was so embarrassed. Things have definitely changed in the last few weeks. I genuinely don’t know how single mothers do it, more power to them, because I definitely can’t do this mother thing alone. During the first week Anthony was here he would make the bottles for Max while I soothed him and calmed him down. It has been difficult to do it all alone.

The biggest change these last few weeks has been not waking up next to Anthony. I miss seeing his face every morning when I wake up. But the hardest part is being alone in a new place, as a new mom without my  best friend. Our third wedding anniversary has come and gone. It was by far the most difficult day of this trip. Just when I thought I loved Anthony as much as I could imagine, Max came into our lives. What a wonderful three year anniversary this gift has been for us. Anthony is an incredible man. I'm not an easy person to love by any means and it is effortless for Anthony. I even struggle loving myself at times. So to Anthony, thank you for loving me unconditionally and for believing in me. You have loved me even when I didn't love myself and for that I am so thankful. You are my everything. The love I feel for you is one that moves mountains and I know Max will always have love from the best daddy in the world. I love you!!