Our eyes have been opened (adoption)

I am not very eloquent with my words. I speak from the heart and as I think, so bare with me. In the past couple of weeks I have been trusting in the Lord more than ever, but prior to these past two weeks I have had such a hard time leaning on Him. Proverbs 3:5 tells us to--"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." It's one of the most amazing verses, but still my human nature is to try to figure things out on my own. To NOT lean on the Lord first, but to lean on my own understanding. And every time I lean on myself and not on the Lord, I fail. Consistently. But in the past two weeks, I have been leaning on Him more than ever. 

With that said, I have been thinking about writing about this for quite some time, but I did not know how to do it. Or maybe I was just scared as to what people would think or say. Aside from our church family, we do not know any one that has adopted or gone through this process, therefore, it scared me what other people would say or think. Honestly, it stills scares me. Will people think we are adopting because celebrities are doing it? Because it is the cool thing? Because we want to adopt "black" babies? Or whatever other reason people may come up with that has nothing to do with why we really want to adopt.

I know a lot of people ask why adopt? The truth is we want to adopt because we feel called to adopt, it's that simple. There are over 160 million orphans in this world....who need to be loved. We are adopted by Christ, he saved us and he constantly commands us to care for the fatherless and the widows (James 1:27, Psalms 68:5-6, Isaiah 1:17, Matthew 18:5.) by this I am not saying that every one needs to adopt (although that would be awesome), some peoples' way to care for the fatherless and the widows is by partnering with organizations like COTN, or starting a non-profit, or helping people who want to adopt, or just simply opening the eyes to those who are unaware of how many orphaned children there are in this world.

As to the people wondering "why are you adopting before  having your own?" Both Anthony and I have wanted to adopt before we met each other and as the years have gone by the desire has only amplified. We do want to have our own, but adoption was never a back burner idea. It was always part of our plan.

Since our decision to officially start the adoption process, God has made it evident that this is His will for our family. We have been praying about this for a little over a month, making sure that this is what he REALLY has called us to do and that it's not just our own will. In this month, God has made it more and more clear to us that this is his plan for us. And honestly, sometimes things aren't super clear, but I know that it's all in his glory and therefore we continue on this path to adoption. In the past 6 months our desire to start a family has been very significant, but more significant than having our own was our desire to adopt. My trips to Africa have played a huge role on our decision, seeing all the orphaned children and witnessing their hunger for love moved me. I think before the trips to Africa our desire to adopt was just that, a desire. But since going to Africa and meeting so many people at Summit who have adopted our desire to adopt has become attainable...a possibility...and hopefully in the coming months a reality.  Our eyes have been opened to the truth!

We are really excited for what's to come, but We are also very nervous. We are nervous as to how we are to come up with about 35 THOUSAND dollars (yeah it's pricey to adopt). We are nervous we may not pass the homestudy because we may be too young. We are nervous that we may not find a home to rent in order to pass the homestudy. We are nervous about being parents to 2 children. We are nervous that we might be awful parents. We are nervous that we may freak out or the children may not love us. We, maybe I should say I, am nervous for so much that is out of my control. That this is my weakness, not being about to let God take control over my life. All these things that I am nervous about are things I should not be nervous about because God will do what God does and at the end of the day if this is what he really wants for us then it will all manifest the way he has planned it and therefore there is no use for me to get all worked up about it. But like I said, I am human and I worry. I am trying my best to lean on Him and not on my understanding. So for now, I pray. I pray that our marriage continues to grow strong, that I am able to surrender my will and that we continue to save money for the glory of God and this adoption process! Pray that we can find a home to rent by June and that Anthony may find a job.

You guys have no idea how ready I am to be a mommy to two beautiful African children that God has picked just for me and Anthony.



p.s If for some reason you are compelled to help someone going through adoption right now, here is a family. They need prayers and finances and they are only asking for $7. http://www.acharityproject.com/f/7forour7th

Rambling, plus some Blueberry muffins

Wednesday's, I love them. I get off from work earlier than usual and I actually have time to do as I please. Truthfully, the last thing I wanted to do today was cook, or so I thought. I got home and Anthony, in support of my new paleo habits had left pork loin marinating in fresh veggies (I know he is awesome). It had filled the aparment with such a wonderful smell of fresh garlic, onions, peppers, tomatoes and some fresh herbs. I know totally mouth watering! Anyway, I could not let my husband out shine me in the kitchen so I put on the apron and got to baking!

I have been doing Paleo for 5 days (totally sucks since im going to Chicago this weekend, womp womp) and I have totally been craving some carbs and sweets, like pita chips and nutella. So to get my sweet tooth crave, I found this awesome blueberry muffin recipe. Honestly, they turned out better than I thought and to top it off, Anthony loved them :) this is such a simple recipe!

Blueberry Muffins

1 cup of Almond flour
1 cup of almond butter (found by the peanut butter)
3 eggs whisked
1/3 cup of walnut oil
1/3 cup of raw honey
1/3 cup of unsweetened shredded coconut
2/3 cup of fresh blueberries
1/2 teaspoon of baking soda

1/2 teaspoon of baking powder
Pinch of salt
Pinch of cinnamon

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Mix all the dry ingredients together
3. Add all the wet ingredients including the blueberries. Mix together very well.
4. Place the ingredients into a cupcake pan (makes about 10-12)
5. Bake for 15-20 minutes. You may wanna check it around 15 minutes.
6. Let then sit and cool
7. Enjoy

Sweet potato BROWNIES, oh yeah!

Sweet potato brownie....yes, you read that right! I enjoy eating sweets, but I typically don't eat much of it! I always feel like a fatty, especially when I eat brownies or cheesecake. I haven't found a healthy and delicious tasting recipe for cheesecake, but I finally found a healthy recipe for brownies. When I say healthy I mean it, it is filled with antioxidants, tons of fiber, dairy free,  tons of good fats (walnut oil), no wheat and nothing processed. Absolutely amazing. Another adjusted recipe by paleOMG :)

1 sweet potato
3 eggs
1/4 cup of walnut oil
1/4 cup of raw honey
1/2 cup of Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips
3 tablesp. of Coconut flour
2 tablesp. of unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 teaspn. baking powder
1/4 teaspn. vanilla extract
1/4 teaspn cinnamon
pinch of sea salt

1. Preheat oven to 405 degress. Bake sweet potato until soft about 30 mins ( I cut it in half and wrap in foil others just poke holes...whatever works best for you)
2. Whisk the eggs and set aside.
3. When the potato is done, take the skin off and mash it. Reduce the heat to 350 degrees. Add the walnut oil, eggs, honey, and vanilla. Mix together.
4. Add all the remaining ingredients and mix well.
5. Pour into a medium size baking dish. I used an 11" by 8" and they were a good thickness.
6. Bake for 30 minutes.
7. Definitely wanna let them sit so it becomes firm.
8. Enjoy :)

Pesto Chicken Spaghetti Squash

I love to cook. It's my thing, I feel most like myself when I am baking or cooking. I love baking/cooking new recipes and well, my friends know it too. A lot of my close friends say, "I don't know how you cook every night," but for me cooking is not a chore. Doing laundry is a chore, but not cooking. Since many of my friends know how much I love to cook, they usually tell me all the yummy recipes that they have tried and I become inspired.

Recently, I became inspired with Spaghetti Squash. One of my close friends, Tania, tried it and she called me to tell about it. I could not believe it, a squash that when baked turned into spaghetti like noodles? I had to try it. I did :) The first time I made it, I microwaved it, didnt turn out like I imagined. So this time I baked it and it was AWESOME! So excited to share this recipe it was inspired by paleOMG, but I made it my own :)

1 spaghetti squash (medium size)

1/2 lb to 1 lb chicken tender loins, cut in cubes (1/2 lb is the right amount, but in my house, that would only be enough for Anthony)

1/4 cup Classico pesto sauce (if you want to make the pesto from scratch use: 1 1/2 cups of fresh basil leaves, 2 garlic cloves, 1/2 cup of olive oil and put it in the food process) 

Juice of 1 lemon 

1 table spoon of ground flax seed (optional)

Salt & pepper to taste

1. Pre-heat your oven to 425 degrees

2. Cut the squash in half length-wise, take out all the seeds and excess strings (in case you don't know, this squash is hard. Cutting it in half might make you break a sweat if you don't have a good knife, which in our case we don't.) Place the squash on a baking sheet up side down and cook for 25 minutes or until the squash is soft to the touch. 

3. If you are making the sauce from scratch this would be the time to mix everything in the food processor. I used the Classico pesto in the little jar. Add the lemon juice to the pesto sauce and mix together. 

4. Heat a large skillet with a little bit of olive oil. Place the chicken in the skillet with some salt & pepper. Cook the chicken on both sides, when the chicken is close to done add the pesto mix to the chicken. 

5. Coat the chicken with the pesto. 

6. When the spaghetti squash is done cooking and it has cooled a bit, using a fork pull the threads from all around the spaghetti squash and add them to the chicken and pesto in the pan. 

7. Serve it in a bowl and sprinkle some ground flax seed on it.

The picture does not do it justice. It was really good and best of all healthy as can be. Of course, it doesn't exactly taste like noodles, but it is a great replacement. High in fiber and low in carb :) Love it! Thank you Tania for helping me discover this yummy vegetable.